Belly of the Beast

Every protagonist has friends that care for them and help them achieve their goals. Every antagonist doesn’t have a friend to hold, and doesn’t know the concept of platonic love and support. My worst friend is inside of me, inside my own brain, working relentlessly to look from the outside that they are shaping my character, but from the inside, is turning me into the antagonist. 

I am my worst friend. I try to be there for myself, but it is not within my mental capabilities. I offer myself consolation when I am sad, and excitement when I am happy, but it just isn’t enough. I am my worst friend because I can never be happy for myself.  My anxiety prevents me from stopping to smell the roses. I try to live life, but I am my own toxic friend, unraveling me from inside to out.

I am my best enemy. I know the ins and outs of myself, and I know just how to take myself down. I attack from the belly of the beast because I am both the belly and the beast. I am my best enemy because I push myself relentlessly and never fail to defeat myself. One side of me always wins, and another side of me always loses. 

Enemies serve the purpose of creating conflict in the plot.  The hero, however, must always prevail.  Because of this, I am okay being my best enemy.  If the plot is my life, then the conflict is within me.  The conflict pushes me down.  But I, the hero, will always win.  Time and time again, I will defeat my inner saboteur and emerge victorious.