Before we get started, let’s get this out of the way: this is not a real article. Thank goodness, since that would be one of the most boring things I can imagine. No, this is a work of satire, as will be every installation of the Bugle’s new Gratz Review, inspired by the New Yorker’s Borowitz Report. So welcome, and I hope you have half as much fun reading this as I did writing it!

————————————————————————————————————————————

The polls are in: College Board’s long-awaited Fall 2020 PSAT Student Guide is a smash hit.
“It was just absolutely brilliant, a real page-turner” said Robin Banks ‘22 “the clever writing style, the witty humor- it was just too much!”
This isn’t the first time an installment of College Board’s PSAT preparation series has received acclaim from critics and readers alike. The beautiful, perfectly weighted volume frequently finds itself in places of honor in students’ lives, from the bottom of backpacks to cluttered desk drawers.

The first section of the book features riveting information about the PSAT and National Merit Scholarships.
According to renowned literary critic Harry R.M. Pitt, PSAT Student Guide is, “a gripping, in-depth look at all facets of the PSAT. From math, reading and writing, to test guidelines and privacy policies, this book has it all.”
Later in the volume, the writers give us advice from behind the scenes on test taking skills and preparation, including such sage wisdom as, “Bring your own calculator. You can’t share one,” and “Familiarize yourself with the directions ahead of time.”

“This advice changed my life,” said Bolles alum and octuple-platinum artist Bigg Stax III ‘15, “Without it, I don’t know where I would be right now. Probably not where I am today.”
And as if that wasn’t enough, it also includes an official practice test! Now readers can not only read about the test, but experience it for themselves.
“I just couldn’t contain my excitement,” said Rex Carr ‘23. “Practice Test #2 was an out-of-this-world experience.”
Spoiler alert much.
However, some critics argue that it is too much fluff and not enough facts.
“Why are they all smiling on the front?” asked Sharon A. Burger ‘23.

Moe DeGrasse ‘21 added, “While PSAT Student Guide is a thrilling read, it sometimes loses sight of what it is meant to be- a test preparation booklet. It’s too much fun to adequately fulfill that role.”
Don’t mind the haters and killjoys. The Bolles Bugle’s book review staff has complete confidence that you will enjoy the Fall 2020 issue of College Board’s PSAT Student Guide.
Just can’t get enough? Be sure to check out College Board’s SAT Student Guide, SAT Prep 2021 from Kaplan, or Barron’s SAT Premium Study Guide.