As I make my way through senior year, I have found that the reality of this year does not quite match up with a lot of my expectations. Barely coming to school, rarely studying for classes, going off campus every day: this is how I imagined my senior year going. And sure, I don’t find myself studying as much as I did in prior years, and it’s true that my grades do not matter as much as they did junior year, but this year has not been nearly as easy as I imagined. 

For starters, I expected not to have to try in any of my classes. Colleges do not look at my senior year grades, so I can stop worrying about getting A’s, right? Well, that’s what I thought too, until I got an email from the two colleges saying that I have to send in my end-of-the-year grades or else they will revoke my scholarship. So much for giving up on my grades. And it wasn’t just these colleges – a lot of colleges make you send in grades, especially if you get deferred. 

Battling a lack of motivation is the hardest part of senior year. Just because grades aren’t as important does not mean you can stop showing up to class. You can only sign out for an “appointment” so many times before the dean’s office starts to get suspicious. Also, it’s hard to pass an AP Calculus test if you haven’t been showing up to class. 

Furthermore, once you realize your grades don’t matter as much, things get even more difficult. You begin to lose all motivation, and going to school becomes even more of a chore. Why should I show up to class if my grades do not matter? A realization I recently had is that my parents are still paying for me to go to school. If I’m not showing up to class and at least trying to learn, then I’m wasting my parents’ money and wasting a chance to learn. 

I also expected to be going off campus all the time during my senior year to get food and hang out with friends. However, in the first semester of your senior year, those off periods that you have been looking forward to will be filled with college counseling meetings and college applications. After your fifth supplemental essay you will be contemplating if you even want to go to college at all. But for most students, once you get past November 1, you don’t have to worry about filling out applications anymore, so you do have more free time during your offs. But after going to Chick-fil-A three times a week then checking your bank account, you will learn that going off campus is not the most economically friendly way to spend your lunch time and off periods. All that money you saved up from your summer job will begin disappearing quickly. 

One of my biggest expectations for senior year was that it would be stress free: no more worrying about grades, no more worrying about classes. However, it’s hard to be stress free when you’re idly sitting around waiting for some admissions officers to decide your future. What if I get rejected from this school? What if I don’t get into my dream school? What if I get denied from the program I wanted to be in? There is nothing you can do but sit and worry until you get an email that will answer these questions for you. Even once you get into a college and decide where you want to go, the idea of being on your own in a different city, possibly even a different state or country, is stressful. What if I don’t like the school I chose? What if I made the wrong decision? There’s no doubt that starting this new adventure is exciting and most seniors are looking forward to starting college, but it is still difficult not to be a little nervous. So no, senior year is not nearly as worry free as I expected.

I thought senior year would be so freeing, but in a lot of ways it is the opposite. As a freshman, sophomore, and junior, showing up to class is hard. However, as a senior, showing up to class is even harder. After four years of high school, at last you are at the final stretch. Most people envision the final stretch being a light walk through the finish line into graduation. No more worrying or weight on your back, but just a nice easy walk. But no, it is not a nice peaceful walk through the last semester of senior year; it’s a bit more difficult than that. So although senior year has been fun, I can’t say it has completely lived up to my expectations.