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The Death of a Medium

Duncan Evans, Coffeehouse Promoter

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Today is a sad day for fans of the VHS medium, however none of them exist, so a generally good day for everyone. The Bolles School has officially purged itself of the ineffective medium, and sent the foul films to a shallow grave/landfill.

Bolles has been gathering its 1000+ tapes for around 40 years, however at this point, VHS tapes are no longer manufactured, nor are the VHS players. Tapes only last around 10-15 years on the shelf, and so even the youngest of the worn out tapes have long since given up the ghost.

Ms. Lange has slowly worked to replace the tapes for years now, in her words, “Every time a teacher used the tape, I would ask if they wanted a DVD of it.”

Even then, Ms. Lange indicates that even the DVD’s are essentially just wasting space at this point. She states that many teachers don’t even use the DVD’s anymore, “they just use Netflix, Amazon Prime, Youtube, or god knows what else to stream movies.”

For those few of you still in denial over the complete inferiority of VHS tapes, please heed Ms. Lange’s advice, and “send [VHS Tapes] to the landfill so they can build a housing complex on top of it.” VHS tapes also release toxic waste when they break down, so you should probably get them out of your attic.

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The Death of a Medium